this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize