WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
