if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
