I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
