So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I need to stop coming to work sober
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
