i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
