real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
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Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
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Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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