I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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