YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
