I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i think my tv is drunk
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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