I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize