He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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