I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
