i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
