i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize