you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize