My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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