This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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