Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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