I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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