I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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