I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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