Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize