he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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