he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
