I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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