You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
