So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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