You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
