Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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