I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
