i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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