on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
