He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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