Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
