Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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