So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
