you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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