OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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