Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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