its not stalking. its research.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
