There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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