Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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