So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
