never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
