Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
