i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
