Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
