Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
