I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
only if we run a train.
done.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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