No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
