i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I pour the whiskey from now on
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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