He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
