ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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