dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
