you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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