actually, I'm a sock model
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
