Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
