Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
