Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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