Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
