The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
