we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
