Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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