dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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