btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
